Sit with this · 12 minutes
Samuel’s Three Questions
The three questions Samuel asks on the bench, slowed right down into a twelve-minute sit for when you’re stuck in the same pattern.
Goes with the film Episode 1 · The Old Man On The Bench.
The Estate · everystreethasastory.uk/reflect/samuels-three-questions
Before you start
Samuel doesn’t solve people’s problems. He asks questions that help them see the problem differently. This exercise borrows three of them. Pick one pattern you keep repeating — a habit, an argument, a way of reacting — and hold it in mind.
Steps
- Sit somewhere you won’t be disturbed. If you can, sit outside on a bench. Samuel would approve.
- Question one — four minutes. Ask yourself: What do I think? Not what your mum thinks, not what your mates think. What do you think about this pattern? Let the answer come slowly.
- Question two — four minutes. Ask: Why do I think I keep doing this? Look for the need underneath: safety, approval, control, avoiding a feeling.
- Question three — four minutes. Ask: What happens if I don’t change anything? Picture a year from now. Then five.
- Breathe out slowly. Notice which question landed hardest.
Write
What do I think, really?
Why do I keep doing this?
What happens if I don’t change anything?
Sit with this
“Sometimes the biggest conversations happen when nobody is shouting.” Sit in the quiet after the three questions for one more minute before you get up.
The Ripple
Choose one very small change to the pattern, one you could do tomorrow. Write it down and put it somewhere you’ll see it.
No printer?
Write here instead.
This stays on this page. Nothing is sent or saved.
Questions I Ask Myself
One story. One thought. One different direction.
Welcome, Neighbour.